Thoughts before departure.

I pulled out of my driveway with enthusiasm yesterday morning, intent on running some necessary errands, and apparently it has been a little too long since I was last behind the wheel of my little Toyota Corolla. I hit the curb with enough force to cause my CD player to skip, something it hasn't done since... well, since I was learning to drive. I freaked out and got out of my car to make sure I hadn't done any serious damage to it, and thankfully there wasn't even any visible evidence of the little scuffle; only my pride was wounded. Suffice to say, I drove rather carefully around my neighborhood for a little bit, just to get back in the swing of things.

But yesterday was good, overall. I went out into Huntsville by myself in the morning and revisited a lot of my usual haunts; Bandito Burrito for lunch, Parkway Place to get two new pairs of jeans, etc. I visited with my mom, too, who took me to this adorable boutique on Whitesburg Drive that only recently opened up in Huntsville, and I ended up buying a shirt there as well. It was an unexpectedly expensive day to be honest, but I'm not worried about the money so much. Mom and I talked a lot, both about the things I'm doing in Oslo and about Nanny--my grandmother--which I think was very cathartic for both of us.

For me it is still very strange because it hasn't settled in my mind yet that she is actually gone; even saying goodbye at the funeral, even with the sense of peace and closure I felt leaving the cemetery, I don't feel the finality of it. I still expect to receive a phone call from her at any moment, with her familiar voice on the other end greeting me affectionately, "Well hello darlin', this is your grandmother." The timbre of her voice still resonates with me, though I suppose at some stage that will fade, too. Logically I know that is normal and to be expected. I just can't summon up any feelings about it right now. I'm numb.

But I am glad I did my best to enjoy my last full day in Huntsville before my departure this afternoon. I have a driving route that I take sometimes to clear my head, which takes me from where I live on the other side of Chapman Mountain, through Huntsville, over Cecil-Ashburne, and through the Hampton Cove area until I reach US72 heading towards Scottsboro. The view from Cecil-Ashburne really got to me today and I had to pull over just for a moment to lean against the guardrail and look at the valley and the few trees with green leaves on them before going on. I'm glad I did.

This afternoon, I will fly to Memphis, TN, and from Memphis to Amsterdam, where I have an eight or nine-hour layover in the airport. The current plan is to leave the airport and take the train into the city in order to explore for a little bit... so, hopefully I will get lots of sleep on the airplane across the Atlantic so that I won't be too exhausted by the time I arrive. I'll make sure to take some pictures with my cell phone either way; it's not every day you're in Amsterdam, after all.

Hopefully, the next update I make will be from my dorm room back in Kringsjaa. Hadet. <3